Israel revisted--background May 6th 2006

NOTE: I delayed publishing these posts while the recent Israeli Lebanese war was still being fought--I just didn't feel it was appropriate while many of the places described herein were under Katusha rocket attack. All during the fighting, I kept reading about the rocket attacks in the north and the damage being done to Safed, Tiberias, Rosh Pina and other cities we visited, thinking about the streets we'd only recently walked on and the shops we had made purchases in. I hope all of these people are safe, have returned to their homes, are setting about rebuilding, and that any who were wounded will be able to fully recover. I pray that the new year that is about to begin will be one of peace.

Background

My first trip to Israel took place in 1967, 2 weeks after the Six Day War ended that resulted in the reunification of Jerusalem (separated after the 1948 War of Independence and ruled by Jordan for 19 years) and the capture of the Golan Heights from Syria and the Sinai Peninsula from Egypt. It was not until December, 1991 that I returned, this time as a recently divorced 41 year old with my 3 sons and new fiancee in tow. The trip in 1991 was to celebrate my son Jared's Bar Mitzvah and to provide a first meeting with my fiancee Pamela's family, at least the Israeli side of the Cohns.
There's a tremendous amount of history that took between that 1991 trip and the one just completed--trips made in joy and those made to share loss, sorrow and pain. I made 8 trips after 1991 and through 2005--attending a 50th surprise birthday party for my sister-in-law Bev, the final days of my father-in-law Fred, the wedding of Pam's nephew Ori, and a sightseeing trip combined with a visit to South Africa (to see and meet another branch of the Cohn family). The trips took on a different tone in 2000, a year after Pam had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer. The visits in 2000 and 2001 were bittersweet, though we tried to make them as enjoyable as possible, doing as much of our "normal" sightseeing as her health would permit, making visits to new hotels and B&Bs (so that Pam could continue her tour planning business centered on Israel), and sampling Israeli delicacies whenever possible. We didn't know after each trip whether it would be our last together, so each moment was very intense and savored as if it was our first. Pam died in 2002 and we decided, before her death, that she would be buried in the city she loved most in the world, Jerusalem. I made a personal promise to myself that I would return at least annually, to visit Pam's grave, be with family and friends, and soak up the amazing atmosphere of this unique country--sort of a regularly scheduled battery-recharging event. I've gone in different seasons but find spring to be my faviorite. Everything is in bloom, there are far fewer tourists after Pesach and before the rush begins at the end of June, and the temperatures are moderate.
On my visits in 2003, 2004, and 2005 I went alone, purposefully. I could have asked companions at the time to join me, but I was not ready for that, nor do I think the family was either. This time, however, I decided to ask Rae-ann to join me. She and I have been together for more than 3 years and I felt the time was right to move our relationship to another level. My asking her to join me was not without a great deal of trepidation on my part, and needless to say, her decision to say yes was also not made lightly. I'd never been to Pam's grave with anyone but family and Israeli friends and was very worried about how, if at all, I would handle being there with a "stranger". Rae-ann, having never been to Israel, was making her maiden trip and was clearly gong to be under intense scrutiny and in Pam's shadow in all that she did. How did we both fare? Read on for more details.