To Jerusalem and an even more difficult detour--May 11th, 2006
To Jerusalem and an even more difficult detour--May 11th
We completed the remaining 3 1/2 hour drive to Jerusalem without making any further sightseeing stops. The drive leaves the lushness of the Galil and proceeds through the desert along much of the shared border with Jordan. It isn't a difficult drive at all and there was very little traffic, so we moved along pretty quickly. The glare from the sun and relative lack of color beyond varying shades of brown made for some tedium. Rae-ann can fall asleep in an instant when in a car (something the doctor's told her mom she'd outgrow as she got older, and has yet to happen) and fought to stay awake to keep me company. I solved the company problem by picking up a woman hitchhiker (not my usual practice anywhere but not that unusual for people to do in Israel) who was heading to Jerusalem for a class in holistic physical therapy. She lived in a desert kibbutz and commuted to the city for classes twice a week; we maintained a steady converstion, with Rae-ann making an occasional remark before nodding off once again. The trip passed quickly, and after dropping my newfound friend off, I headed to the Givat Shaul section of Jerusalem and in particular to the Har Menuchot cemetery.
It's been my cusom when making my annual visit to Israel, in the years since Pam died in 2002, to start my holiday in Jerusalem. So, the cemetery was always the first place I stopped when driving in from Tel Aviv, or my destination the morning after I flew in, and it is usually my last stop prior to heading home. I had been trying to think how I would handle this first visit to Pam's grave with Rae-ann (having not been to the grave with anyone but Pam's family or very close friends) and had only managed to ask myself a lot of questions that went unanswered. Rae-ann was very sensitive about this whole trip, as she has been throughout our more than 3 years together; she has always been more than willing to go the extra mile to allow me the time or space I needed to get through difficult moments or days--of which there have been many. She offered to walk around the cemetery, to wait for me to come get her, or not if I wasn't ready to share this part of my life just yet. I spent about 15 minutes alone with Pam, spreading a bouquet of flowers on her gravestone, and allowing the wind and the stillness to wash over me. Though I speak with her in my mind quite often, the conversations take on a different intensity when I'm standing at her grave in the city and country she loved most in the world. There were lots of tears and a few smiles at some funny experiences or remembered conversations; suddenly I felt ready to bring Rae-ann onto the scene. I went back to the car, found her sitting nearby, and asked her to join me. We walked hand-in-hand up the jacaranda lined walkway to Pam's grave; Rae-ann then read the insciption on the tombstone, and I shared with her some of what I considered in my choice of words that were inscribed on the Jerusalem stone. We recited the Mourner's Kaddish (prayer for the dead) and then spent quite a few tear filled moments in quiet conversation; I did most of the talking while she leaned her head on my shoulder, gently stroked my back, and murmured words of support. Some interminable time later, we left the cemetery.
We completed the remaining 3 1/2 hour drive to Jerusalem without making any further sightseeing stops. The drive leaves the lushness of the Galil and proceeds through the desert along much of the shared border with Jordan. It isn't a difficult drive at all and there was very little traffic, so we moved along pretty quickly. The glare from the sun and relative lack of color beyond varying shades of brown made for some tedium. Rae-ann can fall asleep in an instant when in a car (something the doctor's told her mom she'd outgrow as she got older, and has yet to happen) and fought to stay awake to keep me company. I solved the company problem by picking up a woman hitchhiker (not my usual practice anywhere but not that unusual for people to do in Israel) who was heading to Jerusalem for a class in holistic physical therapy. She lived in a desert kibbutz and commuted to the city for classes twice a week; we maintained a steady converstion, with Rae-ann making an occasional remark before nodding off once again. The trip passed quickly, and after dropping my newfound friend off, I headed to the Givat Shaul section of Jerusalem and in particular to the Har Menuchot cemetery.
It's been my cusom when making my annual visit to Israel, in the years since Pam died in 2002, to start my holiday in Jerusalem. So, the cemetery was always the first place I stopped when driving in from Tel Aviv, or my destination the morning after I flew in, and it is usually my last stop prior to heading home. I had been trying to think how I would handle this first visit to Pam's grave with Rae-ann (having not been to the grave with anyone but Pam's family or very close friends) and had only managed to ask myself a lot of questions that went unanswered. Rae-ann was very sensitive about this whole trip, as she has been throughout our more than 3 years together; she has always been more than willing to go the extra mile to allow me the time or space I needed to get through difficult moments or days--of which there have been many. She offered to walk around the cemetery, to wait for me to come get her, or not if I wasn't ready to share this part of my life just yet. I spent about 15 minutes alone with Pam, spreading a bouquet of flowers on her gravestone, and allowing the wind and the stillness to wash over me. Though I speak with her in my mind quite often, the conversations take on a different intensity when I'm standing at her grave in the city and country she loved most in the world. There were lots of tears and a few smiles at some funny experiences or remembered conversations; suddenly I felt ready to bring Rae-ann onto the scene. I went back to the car, found her sitting nearby, and asked her to join me. We walked hand-in-hand up the jacaranda lined walkway to Pam's grave; Rae-ann then read the insciption on the tombstone, and I shared with her some of what I considered in my choice of words that were inscribed on the Jerusalem stone. We recited the Mourner's Kaddish (prayer for the dead) and then spent quite a few tear filled moments in quiet conversation; I did most of the talking while she leaned her head on my shoulder, gently stroked my back, and murmured words of support. Some interminable time later, we left the cemetery.
posted by Scottland at 6:08 PM
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