Background
My first trip to Israel took place in 1967, 2 weeks after the Six Day War ended that resulted in the reunification of Jerusalem (separated after the 1948 War of Independence and ruled by Jordan for 19 years) and the capture of the Golan Heights from Syria and the Sinai Peninsula from Egypt. It was not until December, 1991 that I returned, this time as a recently divorced 41 year old with my 3 sons and new fiancee in tow. The trip in 1991 was to celebrate my son Jared's Bar Mitzvah and to provide a first meeting with my fiancee Pamela's family, at least the Israeli side of the Cohns.
There's a tremendous amount of history that took between that 1991 trip and the one just completed--trips made in joy and those made to share loss, sorrow and pain. I made 8 trips after 1991 and through 2005--attending a 50th surprise birthday party for my sister-in-law Bev, the final days of my father-in-law Fred, the wedding of Pam's nephew Ori, and a sightseeing trip combined with a visit to South Africa (to see and meet another branch of the Cohn family). The trips took on a different tone in 2000, a year after Pam had been diagnosed with ovarian cancer. The visits in 2000 and 2001 were bittersweet, though we tried to make them as enjoyable as possible, doing as much of our "normal" sightseeing as her health would permit, making visits to new hotels and B&Bs (so that Pam could continue her tour planning business centered on Israel), and sampling Israeli delicacies whenever possible. We didn't know after each trip whether it would be our last together, so each moment was very intense and savored as if it was our first. Pam died in 2002 and we decided, before her death, that she would be buried in the city she loved most in the world, Jerusalem. I made a personal promise to myself that I would return at least annually, to visit Pam's grave, be with family and friends, and soak up the amazing atmosphere of this unique country--sort of a regularly scheduled battery-recharging event. I've gone in different seasons but find spring to be my faviorite. Everything is in bloom, there are far fewer tourists after Pesach and before the rush begins at the end of June, and the temperatures are moderate.
On my visits in 2003, 2004, and 2005 I went alone, purposefully. I could have asked companions at the time to join me, but I was not ready for that, nor do I think the family was either. This time, however, I decided to ask Rae-ann to join me. She and I have been together for more than 3 years and I felt the time was right to move our relationship to another level. My asking her to join me was not without a great deal of trepidation on my part, and needless to say, her decision to say yes was also not made lightly. I'd never been to Pam's grave with anyone but family and Israeli friends and was very worried about how, if at all, I would handle being there with a "stranger". Rae-ann, having never been to Israel, was making her maiden trip and was clearly gong to be under intense scrutiny and in Pam's shadow in all that she did. How did we both fare? Read on for more details.
Arrival and first night
We arrived in Ben Gurion airport on Sunday afternoon, May 7th, after an 11 hour flight on El Al and immediately drove the half dozen miles to Tel Aviv, where we planned on spending a couple of nights and one full day. The Hertz map was detailed enough, but it is very, very easy to get lost in Tel Aviv as there seems not to be any easy-to-follow layout to the city. (Perhaps spending the $12/day for the GPS would have been a good idea!) I have an excellent sense of direction, and am not afraid to ask for directions (after a bit), but still managed to drive for an hour until I could get to our hotel, the newly remodeled Prima Astor, located one block from the beach and the Mediterranean. We unloaded the car in front of the hotel, checked in, and took the smallest "lift" to our room that I believe I have ever been in. It was a good thing we had eaten lightly on the flight!. We were lucky and got a room facing the sea and the promenade that runs alongside the beach. I've learned through the years that it is always best to try and stay up as late as possible when arriving in a foreign country; it seems to making the jet-lag easier to deal with and you get your body on local time much faster. (I also don't drink carbonated drinks, liquor, or wine on the plane, get up regularly during the flight, remove my shoes when the wheels go up, and usually order vegetarian meals. I can't say these tricks will work for you, but they do for me. PS--I also never change my watch from US time, no matter how long I'm away.)
So, what's the first thing you do when you land in a foreign country? I usually head for a restaurant to start really getting into the local scene, and this day was no different. We walked around for a couple of blocks and wound up at the Yemenite Kitchen on Frishman St (up from HaYarkon). My nieces later said this was a real tourist spot, but we weren't up for more walking, especially after having wasted an hour getting to the hotel. We sat outside and ordered a wonderful Sephardic hummus (rich, thick with the right amount of garlic, and a drizzle of pale green olive oil with its own distinctive flavor), an order of Salouf bread (hot, right out of the oven, "puffy" and absolutely essential for eating hummus if you don't get fresh pita) and an aubergine salad that also mixed very well with hummus or alone on the bread. Aubergines, for those of you not familiar with word, are eggplants and very common in Israel. These eggplants were grilled, allowed to chill, and then mixed with a tangy tomato sauce, garlic, and onion. YUM! We also ordered a spring chicken served with chips or french fries as the Israelis call them, and a salad. There was a lot of food and we could have done without the chicken, but we split it, as we did with everything else, so it worked out fine. The total bill worked out to less than $20 with tip included.
First Day-May 8th
The next morning we got up bright and early, having slept reasonably well for about 6 hours. Israeli hotels are known for providing bountiful breakfasts. There is usually cold cereal, fresh fruit, yogurt, cheese, assorted salads, some herring or fish appetizer, and fresh-baked pastries and breads, as well as tea, milk, coffeee and juice. It's easy to "eat large" so early in the morning, but remember to pace yourselves as the whole day lays ahead and there is a lot of touring to do; too much food and you'll want to nap and might miss out on something truly special, like an amazing multi-thousand year old site or a uniue lunch spot!
After breakfast we headed up the road to the neighboring city of Jaffa. We walked around a bit along the sea and then drove through the new and old portions of town, stopping for some gallery viewing along the way. There are interesting walks, restaurants by the sea, and plenty of galleries--as well as some of the best and most varied baklava in the country. We missed those flaky treats this trip due to time constraints, but next time we'll schedule things differently. After Jaffa, we went to the Diaspora Museum on the campus of Tel Aviv University. This museum tells the story of various Jewish communities throughout the world and through the centuries (dating from 516 B.C.E.). I find it to be an interesting place from a historical perspective, but it is a bit dated in its presentation and could really use an update by including more modern graphic, video and computer presentations. Lunch, that first day, was at one of my favorite spots in Tel Aviv--a restaurant in the old part of Tel Aviv called Suzanna (located on Shabazi St); take a cab here if you are not fond of driving on very narrow streets that meander all over the place. There's lots to love about this favorite haunt, not the least of which is sitting on a patio under a huge, majestic tree and sampling such delicacies as the stuffed fruit w/chopped lamb (fig, apricot, and prune served with rice and pumkin) or the chicken meatballs in a sweet sauce.
Second night--dinner with the family--
All this good food, mixed in with a small dose of jet-lag, made an afternoon schnooze seem like a great idea and one that both Rae-ann and I heartedly endorsed. We got up, feeling much less the worse for wear, and headed out to meet Pam's neices Shira and Dana, her nephew Yaron, and first cousin Ilan at a local Italian restaurant called Amore Miro (100 Ibn Gabriol St--a 10 minute walk from our hotel). This get-together was one of the moments whose anticipation had been causing me and Rae-ann a lot of angst. After all, these were family members to whom Pam was incredibly close. They, along with their parents (Pam's sister Bev and brother-in-law Chezi) and 2 uncles (a brother Steve in South Africa, and another brother Alan in NY) were all been part of Pam's large, amaingly loving and supportive family. How would we all react to each other? My nerves must have been showing as we were getting ready to leave the hotel. Rae-ann touched me very gently and asked "if I was ok" and "whether I was anxious about dinner" and I told her that I was. I then asked her how she was feeling and she said "the same"; we gave each other a hug, grabbed each other's hand, and headed out to the restaurant.
We were the first to arrive but only waited a few moments for eveyone else to appear. I think that everyone felt a bit awkward at first, but those feelings seemed to pass quickly enough as we ordered food and got into 3 or 4 conversations at one time. Rae-ann and I split 2 interesting dishes--ravioli with Jerusalem artichokes (which are not really artichokes at all, but a veggie nonetheless) served in a cream sauce (rarely see me going this route but that was what was on the menu) and a spaghetti served with sweet potatoes, herbs and cooked in olive oil. We enjoyed our dishes, but they were nothing to rave about. The restaurant is not kosher, a not uncommon situation in Tel Aviv, so keep that in mind if kashruth is a major issue for you. (I do keep kosher at home, but eat out and make sure I know how things are prepared.) We split a half bottle of 2004 Gamla Merlot that went well with the meal. (Total bill was about $100 for the 6 of us.)
Heading for Safed--May 9th
We got up early the next morning, ate breakfast, and began our drive to the Galilee--heading for the home of Kabbalah and an artist colony to boot in the lovely small city of Safed. Our route took us along the coast and the Mediterranean was visible much of the way. The traffic in Tel Aviv is a pain, but once out of the city the highway speed of 80-90 kilometers/hr (50-56 miles/hr) kept us moving reasonably well. Our route passed by Netanya (a lovely seaside city that has seen its share of suicide bombings, most recently 2 years ago during Pesach) and through Haifa (the major port city in the north). Haifa is the home of the Bahai Temples and gardens--worth a visit, but not on our itinerary this trip--and is quite lovely in spots. We left the city and headed inland, finally arriving at Safed 3 1/2 hours after leaving Tel Aviv; forty minutes of the travel time was taken up in traffic in Tel Aviv and Haifa.
The drive up to Safed is via a winding, well paved and marked, 2 lane road, and the views of the lush forested hills and wonderfully clean smelling air makes the trip a delight. I had booked a room at the Ruth Rimonim Hotel, one of many in the area but the one with the longest history (oldest inn in Israel that is still being used, though much expanded from its orignal size) and rumored to have the nicest ambiance. (FYI--rimonim is a Hebrew word for pomegranates.) The hotel certainly lived up to our expectations ambiance-wise with very interesting stone rooms in the main hotel area, vaulted ceilings, thick walls, lovely gardens, a nice workout space, a full range of spa services, and more than adequate sized rooms with marble bathrooms and even an electric hair dryer. The Rimonim is incredibly well situated for exploring the myriad art and sculpture galleries in Safed, as well as the many shops in the market area. It's one drawback is the food, unfortunately. We ate only 1 dinner and a breakfast there and were totally underwhelmed. The dinner was a buffet, in and of itself not a problem, but the quality and taste of most of the dishes was completely bland or non-descript; in our opinion, the food was no more than a C - and well worth passing up given other alternatives in nearby Rosh Pina. Dinner cost was high, considering the mediocrity of the food, and came in at $58 including a half bottle of wine.
The shopping is a delight in the marketplace, with locally produced paintings, sculpture, and unique handcrafts readily available. The artwork has a very Chassidic flavor, with dancing amongst the hills, joyous religious celebrations, Kabbalistic symbols, and biblical micro-calligraphy high on the creative menus and running the gamut from modestly priced to very pricey extremes. You can find unique mezzuzahs and hand-written "kosher" scrolls to go inside (about $60 for both), small-medium-large shofars or rams horns blown on the High Holidays (some with truly incredible resonance), Shabbat candlesticks made from hand-blown glass, and kiddush cups and menorahs made from silver or silver plate in traditional or modern motifs. There is even a store specializing in candles--locally made and in lots of amazing colors and designs. (These candles make great gifts to bring back for all your friends or co-workers.)
A word of caution is in order however. Israel, like many European countries, charges VAT (value added tax) on all purchases (note the operative word is ALL) that amounts to 17% of the purchase price. The VAT on non-food or gas expenses is refundable at the airport (see below for that story) but only if the purchases amount to at least $100 in one store AND if the shop is part of the national VAT refund listing. We learned the hard way that unless the store displays the "official VAT refund" logo and gives you the "official green form" accompanied by the original receipt, you WILL NOT get the refund you think you are due. Some shop owners will quote a price, but then tell you how much VAT you'll get back, and use that logic (rather persuasively I must admit) to get you to buy that "can't live without it/one of a kind" gift for Aunt Zeidi or the family back home. DON'T get fooled by this pitch unless you are prepared to make the purchase without regard to the VAT refund.
Sightseeing in the Galil
It isn't possible to see all, or even a part, of the traditional sights in Israel in only 7 days; this, in spite of the fact the country is only the size of the state of New Jersey. We had to pick and choose our spots and I'm certain that we left out many places of interest, but that just means we'll have to go back again, doesn't it? We left Safed and headed back down the mountain towards Tiberias. We made a few short stops at such places as the Church of the Beatitudes (beautiful grounds, view of Lake Tiberias, and a chapel visited by Pope Paul on a visit in 2000 I think), Kfar Nachum, Capernum (more interesting churhes, including a Greek Orthodox gem with a flock of peacocks strutting about the grounds), and a quick visit to Nof Ginosaur (a lovely kibbutz hotel and recreation area right on the lake) just to check out alternate accomodation sites for the future.
We made our way down to Tiberias for a quick visit and managed to find a parking place just off the main road. Tiberias as a city doesn't do much to excite me, but it is right on the lake and can be used as a convenient crossroads for lots of important things--especially something like finding an internet cafe to check e mails (YEAH!!!). We also had a delicious falafel sandwich
(fresh pita, scrumptous falafel balls perfectly fried, finely chopped cucumbers and tomatoes aka Israeli salad, eggplant, tehini sauce, chips (fries), and some reasonably good hot sauce) at a stall on the main road. This falafel stand was part of a small shuk or marketplace and the name excapes me. You'll find it, however, by looking for 2 falafel stands right next to each other. At first I thought they were one, but it quickly became obvious they were fierce, though friendly competitors. Everyone seemed to have their favorite of the two, knew the owners by name, preferred various side dishes and "freebies", and probably wouldn't patronize the other stand unless under the most dire of circumstances. Such is the stuff of culinary competition. Oh, not to minimize the things to do in Tiberias, check out the Naot store for terrific sandals and shoes (they are made just a few miles away on Kibbutz Naot).
Back to Safed
It doesn't sound like a terribly tiring day, but it was hot (remember you are closer to the equator here and wearing a hat and high-numbered sunscreen is a must), there was all the schlepping in and out of the car to see different churches, we had to undergo the rigor of choosing the right falafel stand, and then trying on all those sandals, made us feel as if a rest was in order. We headed back to the hotel and took a nap for an hour--what a great thing to do on vacation---nap in the middle of the day and not at one's desk! We had been given a card for a complimentary desert and drink by one of the goniffs (kind word for a store owner who lied about the VAT) in the market. So, upon waking from our shluf (nap) much refreshed, we headed off to a small cafe called MacMillians. The owner is very nice, well traveled, and aimed to please as his cafe had opened only that week. Rae-ann and I shared a piece of the darkest, densest, richest chocolate cake and fresh whipped cream that I have eaten anywhere, and topped it off with a glass of ice cold, freshly squeezed red grapefruit juice (could have had oj, coffee or tea). I know that a glass of cold milk would have been a better alternative in most spots, but the juice was tangy and sweet---and hit the spot! YUM!!! :) A bit more shopping followed this treat, though the protestations from both of us that we were "shopped out" seemed to have fallen on deaf ears---our own! I think Rae-ann was a bad influence in this area because it was her first trip, she wanted to bring back interesting gifts for her mother and sons, and I had to help her navigate the foreign language/money/and shopping rituals--hence much more time exposed to the beautiful Israeli handcrafts resulted in my accumulating more stuff (like a unique hand-woven, woolen, royal blue tallit--prayer shawl ).
All this "activity" got us in the mood to walk and we headed off to explore the "old city" that lay a few feet from the end of the market road. On the first day in Sefed we had noticed that many of the homes and stores had brightly painted decorated or carved doors. Being the inveterate photographer that I am, I decided to "shoot" a few of the doors that first day. Well, once the idea and the visual imagery was firmly ensconced in my brain, it didn't take me long to decide to continue with this concept. As we meandered through the warren of narrow streets, sidestepping the boys at play during an evening recess from their yeshivas (religious schools still in session at 7pm), or the groups of girls giggling amongst themselves or running after their younger siblings, I found numerous doors of interest to photograph and have included some of the more interesting shots here.
The sunsets from Safed are lovely to behold. As the sun slipped below the Galilee mountains, the sky took on hues of red, purple, and orange, and the house lights twinkled in the cool night air. There are no large, bright or garish street lamps to destroy the serene view. The last songs of birds settling in for the evening, the wind whispering farewell to the golden sun,
the laughter of children at play-- all overshadowed the occasional noise of a car or truck straining to make its' way up the winding mountain roads.
After our unfortunate dinner experience the previous night, we chose not to eat our hotel and instead drove down the mountain about 3 miles to another nearby artist colony called Rosh Pina, a more secular but nonetheless lovely community.
We ate dinner in the old part of the town, at a place called Rafa, and had a lovely and unusual repast. I'll get to the unusual in a moment, but as for the meal, we started off with delicious stuffed vine leaves (not usually a favorite of mine) and corn empenada, then moved to a salmon dish cooked with potatoes, cream and a mustard sauce and a vegetaraian casserole filled with veggies (what else?), polenta, cheese, and plums (a novel but very tasty way to add some flavor to what might have been a somewhat bland dish). The wine for the evening was a crisp 2003 Gamla Chardonnay.
It was the wine that made the meal so unusual, though the food was really quite good! We ordered a half bottle and the waitress proceeded to open it at our table; she poured a small amount in my glass for tasting (which I appropriately smelled, swallowed, and noted "tov ma'od--very good) and then filled up both of our glasses. Rae-ann and I were engaged in a conversation and didn't immediately drink any wine. A few moments later, as we were about to take a drink after making a toast, Rae-ann noticed something floating in her glass that looked a lot like some sort of tiny winged insect. We called the waitress over, who was very apologetic and offered Rae-ann a clean glass that she refilled from the remainder of the open bottle. Well, much to our surprise, out of the bottle came yet another tiny winged creature. It seemed that our univited dinner guests had somehow fallen into the wine during bottling and presumably drunk their way to oblivion. Needless to say, the waitress then brought us a new half bottle of the same wine and stood carefully by as both of our glasses (yes, she gave us new glasses) were filled. Fortunately, nothing but delicious looking and quite pleasant wine flowed out of the bottle this time.
We were both surprised the waitress didn't offer the wine to us complimentary, but perhaps she'd never encountered this sort of problem before or just didn't think of it. Anyway, we didn't make a fuss about the cost of the wine as it was only about $10. The dinner, with the wine and the tip, came to a total of around $40.00.
To Jerusalem, but first a moving detour--May 10th
After having negotiated the traffic along the sea in both Haifa and Tel Aviv on the way up to the Galil, and having wasted the better part of an hour in traffic in doing so, I opted to take a more inland, desert road that hugged the Jordanian border in order to get to Jerusalem. We made a short stop at a beautiful little spot called Neharyim that is part of the Kibbutz Ashdod Ya'akov. (Coincidentally, this kibbutz or communal village was where my wife Pam had spent her early months after making aliyah in 1971. Aliyah is the process whereby a Jew leaves his/her country of birth or residence and becomes a full-time citizen of Israel.) The history of Neharyim is quite tragic. 7 school girls (middle-schoolers in our parlance) were killed, over 20 years ago, by a Jordanian soldier who, without any provocation at all by anyone, starting shooting at the busload of students who had been cleared by the authorities to be on the Joradanian side of the border. The girls' bodies were brought back to the Israeli side after the Jordanian soldier had been killed and the carnage scene investigated. Since the attack took place across the border, the monument to the girls was established on the Israeli side. It consists of 7 small covered mounds, each capped with a white gravel oval to create a stark effect, and that were planted with flowering bushes that have been pruned in such a way as to represent each child's name in Hebrew (obviously). The idea came for the monument came from one of the mother's whose daughter had been killed, and the monument is cared for by both family members and volunteers from the kibbutz. 2 covered viewing areas look down upon the 7 mounds; they give visitors a chance to observe the nearby Jordanian border patrol station on the other side of the double barbed-wire fence, situated as it were in midst of lush green fields that might otherwise be full of fruit trees or vegetables. Though decades have passed since the attack, the photos of the girls killed show only young faces frozen in time. The melancholy music playing over the loud-speakers and the quiet of the place make for a very powerful experience.
To Jerusalem and an even more difficult detour--May 10th
We completed the remaining 3 1/2 hour drive to Jerusalem without making any further sightseeing stops. The drive leaves the lushness of the Galil and proceeds through the desert along much of the shared border with Jordan. It isn't a difficult drive at all and there was very little traffic, so we moved along pretty quickly. The glare from the sun and relative lack of color beyond varying shades of brown made for some tedium. Rae-ann can fall asleep in an instant when in a car (something the doctor's told her mom she'd outgrow as she got older, and has yet to happen) and fought to stay awake to keep me company. I solved the company problem by picking up a woman hitchhiker (not my usual practice anywhere but not that unusual for people to do in Israel) who was heading to Jerusalem for a class in holistic physical therapy. She lived in a desert kibbutz and commuted to the city for classes twice a week; we maintained a steady converstion, with Rae-ann making an occasional remark before nodding off once again. The trip passed quickly, and after dropping my newfound friend off, I headed to the Givat Shaul section of Jerusalem and in particular to the Har Menuchot cemetery.
It's been my cusom when making my annual visit to Israel, in the years since Pam died in 2002, to start my holiday in Jerusalem. So, the cemetery was always the first place I stopped when driving in from Tel Aviv, or my destination the morning after I flew in, and it is usually my last stop prior to heading home. I had been trying to think how I would handle this first visit to Pam's grave with Rae-ann (having not been to the grave with anyone but Pam's family or very close friends) and had only managed to ask myself a lot of questions that went unanswered. Rae-ann was very sensitive about this whole trip, as she has been throughout our more than 3 years together; she has always been more than willing to go the extra mile to allow me the time or space I needed to get through difficult moments or days--of which there have been many. She offered to walk around the cemetery, to wait for me to come get her, or not if I wasn't ready to share this part of my life just yet. I spent about 15 minutes alone with Pam, spreading a bouquet of flowers on her gravestone, and allowing the wind and the stillness to wash over me. Though I speak with her in my mind quite often, the conversations take on a different intensity when I'm standing at her grave in the city and country she loved most in the world. There were lots of tears and a few smiles at some funny experiences or remembered conversations; suddenly I felt ready to bring Rae-ann onto the scene. I went back to the car, found her sitting nearby, and asked her to join me. We walked hand-in-hand up the jacaranda lined walkway to Pam's grave; Rae-ann then read the insciption on the tombstone, and I shared with her some of what I considered in my choice of words that were inscribed on the Jerusalem stone. We recited the Mourner's Kaddish (prayer for the dead) and then spent quite a few tear filled moments in quiet conversation; I did most of the talking while she leaned her head on my shoulder, gently stroked my back, and murmured words of support. Some interminable time later, we left the cemetery.
The remainder of Thursday--May 11th
After the cemetery, we made a little side-trip to Berman's Bakery--an institution in the city. Truly one of the wonders of the modern age is the smell of fresh baked bread and pastry. It should come as no surprise that we couldn't leave empty-handed from this icon to warm flavored dough. I thought we were very restrained in only taking 4 or 5 small danish (cheese, chocolate, cinnamon, plain, and poppyseed) with us for snacking on the way into the City Center. We headed to our room at the Prima Royale Hotel located at 3 Mendele Street and dropped off our bags. It was nearly lunchtime by now, and we headed to the nearby German Colony (appropriately named after the area was settled by immigrating Jews from Germany after WWII) and one of my favorite restaurants named Caffit on Emek Refaim St. Lunch consisted of an Oreganta Salad (cold lettuce and shaved cheese, crunchy tomatoes, olives, nuts, sunflower seeds, thin slivers of warm aubergines, olive oil, a little balsamic vinegar, and lots of ---you guessed it....oregano). DOUBLE YUM!!! I should have remembered the salads were huge and more than enough to share, but I got carried away and also ordered a vegetable pizza (not as good as I previously remembered it to be). We wound up taking some of both dishes back to the hotel to be put in the small refridgerator found in each room. Oh, I also got my first parking ticket in Israel--those signs in Hebrew can be a bit "challenging" and obviously I didn't read them carefully enough.
The rest of the afternoon was spent just driving and walking around Jerusalem so that Rae-ann could get a flavor for the city. In the evening, we went down to the pedestrian mall in the center of city on Ben-Yehuda St and did some more shopping (when will it end????). The area is a magnet for tourists and young students and is generally packed till late in the evening/early morning. We had dinner that evening at a dear friend's house, where Benita not only served up a delicious meal but also introduced us to some very interesting friends, who gave us some good suggestions for different places to go to on Shabbat for services.
Friday morning--back at the cemetery
May 12, 2002 was the day Pam died--Mother's Day that year. It's customary in the Jewish religion to commemorate the anniversary of a loved ones' death by lighting a candle on the evening before; this is because Jewish observances (holiday or otherwise) all begin at sunset. I couldn't light a candle in the hotel, but did want to recite the Mourner's Kaddish again and spend time reflecting on the many wonderful moments Pam and I shared in our nearly 10 year marriage. I asked Rae-ann to join me once more, and we headed out early to the cemetery. At the gravesite, I read from the prayerbook I'd brought with me--there were a number of prayers and psalms that were significant to us during her long struggle, that remain so today to me, and that seemed especially powerful when recited in Jerusalem, standing at the foot of her tombstone. Sometimes it seemed as if the ever present Jerusalam wind had a mind of its own, as my words and tears were carried into the morning air. Perhaps Pam was trying to ease the pain, as was so often her wont throughout her life. Perhaps she was giving me a sign of approval that I was able, finally, to openly share my grief in such a personal setting with another woman. Perhaps she was telling me it was okay to love again (something I'd known for some time). My inclination was to believe all of these--and a sense of peace and gratitude swept over me. Together, Rae-ann and I recited the Kaddish and after lingering a few moments, made our way back to the car.
Friday morning--at the Shuk
Shabbat preparation begins early on Friday as families, each with their assigned task or routine, make ready to welcome the most important of Jewish holidays. Most Israelis work only a half day on Friday and many firms, over the years, have moved to making Friday and Saturday the weekend. My absolute favorite thing to do on Friday is to go to the shuk--the main Jerusalem marketplace, located in the City Center--to take photos when I can, but more importantly to savor the sights and sounds of the large crowds clamoring with each other and the vendors to purchase their Shabbat necessities. The shuk consists of a relatively small area, occupying just a couple of blocks, mostly covered by a grimy glass arched ceiling, that is packed with hundreds of small stalls selling everything from fresh pita and challah, olive oil, any kind of olive imaginable, pickled whatevers, fresh flowers, meats, pastries, fresh and dried fruits, artichokes, fennel and every kind of produce imaginable, cheeses, fresh fish that are sometimes still breathing as they are placed on the ice, numerous varieties of nuts, religious articles, grains and aromatic spices. The cacophony of noises and the mouth-watering scents can be overwhelming. Rae-ann walked around with me and just kept smiling--she was enjoying herself immensely, as was I. I suggested that we stock up on some goodies, as I thought we would have a picnic the next day, and planned to take her to a very lovely spot in the Talpiyot section of the city. It didn't take us long, helped along by our various samplings and well practised eyes, to buy a challah, olives, tomatoes, and goat cheese. It was with a great deal of sadness, after nearly 2 hours of shuk immersion, that we were finally able to pull ourselves away and proceed back to the hotel to drop off our purchases in the small refridgerator in our room.
Friday lunch
Notwithstanding our snacking in the shuk, it was lunchtime and my stomach called me (seems it is always doing that) to seek out a tiny Sephardic restaurant called Pinati on King George St. Jews of Sephardic origin came from countries bordering the Mediterranean Sea, while those of Askensazic origin hailed from Easter Europe. There are many cultural and physical diffeences between the two groups, with their foods being vastly different as well. The Sephardic foods are, more often than not, more pungent and savory, while the Ashkenazai foods tend to be a bit blander. Pinati caters to mostly a Sephardic crowd. It is the kind of local place everyone knows about, but few tourists will ever be told about it or taken there, unless by a native Israeli. The dozen or so tables are communal--if there is an open seat anyone can sit down next to you. There is a lot of noise for such a small space-especially with the waiters yelling back to the kitchen all the time with their orders. An absolute "must have" dish is the hummous (pureed chick peas with tahini, lemon, and olive oil) served with or without meat (basar is the hands down choice for me)--served in a small side plate, covered with a thin layer of pale green olive oil, a basket of warm, fresh pita and garnished either with your choice of red or green "hot sauce". The meat is a chopped-meat in a tangy tomato sauce. Depending on your appetite for "hot' food--go with the red sauce (moderate heat) or my favorite, the green sauce (eye-watering heat). We were persuaded to try the moussaka with a meat filing and were very pleased at having gone with that advice. Plenty of glasses of water helped us to get through the meal without setting ourselves on fire.
Friday evening--Shabbat--May 12th
We awoke from our short nap much refreshed and re-energized. By this time, the city had already begun to quiet itself and there was a palpable diminishment of noise, & hustle and bustle; the air was full of anticipation for the impending start of Shabbat and a sense of peace pervaded the atmosphere. Shabbat in Jerusalem is an incredible experience and one I never tire of. There is a sense of peace and joy here on Friday evening and Saturday morning that I've never experienced in any other city in the world. It's amazing how a large city, full of honking horns and traffic can become so tranquil in such a short period of time. This is really an experience not to be missed.
I took Rae-ann to services at a Reform synaogoue (one of only a handful in the country, as most are orthordox) called Kol HaNeshema. This is a lovely place to attend services, as the relatively young congregation, full of American, British, Austrailian, and European expats (generally English speakers who are either living temporarily in Israel or those who have made aliyah-voluntarily emigrated) enjoy the intellectual and socially conscious challenges of their dynamic rabbi Lev Kalman. The music is lively and the congregation is very much involved in the services. (If you know of and love Congregation B'nai Jeshurun in NYC, then this is one of the places you want to daven or pray in when in Jerusalem.)
Many restaurants are closed in Jerusalem on Friday evening and Saturday in observance of Shabbat. I decided to take Rae-ann someplace I knew would be open and that was within walking distance of our hotel. We wound up at the YMCA, a landmark structure easily noted by it's central spire that is right across the street from the world-reknown King David Hotel. Dinner was good, but not spectacular--we had a good Barkan 2001 Cabernet Reserve to help wash down dishes like Moroccan hariba soup--made with lentils, hummus, lemon, and fresh tomatoes--quite tangy, as is the custom in Moroccan food. We then went to a slightly less interesting dish of eggplant wrapped around goat cheese and followed this with main courses of vegetable lasagna in a cream sauce and penne with pesto. We splurged on dessert and went with the 3 Arches--fresh apples baked in a flaky crust, and covered with caramel sauce and vanilla ice cream; the scent of the roibois tea (a South African staple) flavored with vanilla and cinammon still sticks with me today.
Shabbat morning--May 13th
I often go to Yakar ( a small modern orthodox shul) on Shabbat morning but based upon the recommendation from our new friends from Thursday evening, we went to services at Shir Hadashah located in the Youth Center in the German Colony, just off of Emek Rephaim St. This is an unusual synagogue, even by Jerusalem's standards. The rabbi is a woman (whose name escapes me), and is the daughter of the world famous David Hartmann, the founder and guiding light of the Hartmann Institute--one of the most important centers of learning in a city full of wise men and women (both historically speaking as well as of today). This is an egalitarian service, with men and women having equal roles (except as noted below) leading the service and reading from the Torah. What is different though, is the mechitzah or curtain separating the men's and women's sections, but which gets pulled back for the sermon and announcements. The separation of the sexes during services is a mainstay of orthodox services and women never have a meaningful role in the prayers. To have the separation but to also have full participation--well that was definitely unusual, but also very meaningful.
A regular prayer during Shabbat morning services is the Priestly Benediction. It isn't really emphasized in many services in the States, but that is not the case in Israel. Jews, notwithstanding their Ashkenazic (Eastern European background) or Sephardic (Mediterranean heritage) roots, are divided into 3 major camps--the Kohanim or High Priests, the Leviim or Assistants to the Kohanim, and the Israelites (basically everyone else). Your patriarchal ancestry determines your religious sector lineage, while your matriarchal lineage actually determines whether you are Jewish or not. Here in Jerusalem, the men (one of those non-egalitarian issues I mentioned above) who trace their ancestry to the first High Priest in the bible (Aaron, Moses' brother), leave the sanctuary and go outside to bathe their feet; they then return barefooted (or in their socks) and go to the front of the congregation. There this small handful of men, with their prayer shawl or tallit drawn over their heads and completely covering their faces, sway from side to side with their arms outstretched under their tallit--quietly reciting the words to the prayer as they are called aloud by the reader. This swaying enables them to literally "bless" the entire congregation--a truly powerful experience.
Shabbat lunch--Haas Promenade
After services, we drove up to the Haas Promenade in the Talpyiot section of Jerusalem. This viewing point actually has one of the best views of the entire city to be found anywhere. One can look down the valley and get an incredible view of new and old Jerusalem,--of modern suburbs strung out on the surrounding hils, of the ancient walled Old City sitting majestically in the middle of modernity, of the Mount of Olives churches and cemetery where the Messiah will first be seen, and the Dome of the Rock mosque (reputed to be the last place Mohammed stepped prior to ascending to Heaven and also the site where Abraham nearly sacrificed his only son Isaac), of Hadassah hospital and the Hebrew University on Mount Scopus, of Arab villages and their distinctive minaret towers, and David's Citadel (now the museum of the City of Jerusalem). The Promenade is actually a park, and there are lovely walkways and benches throughout the area; many Israelis bring their families for Shabbat strolls or picnics. We fell into the latter camp, having brought our lunch from the previous day's visit to the shuk. We spread out a blanket borrowed from our hotel room, and proceeded to enjoy our delicious repast. The challah I'd picked out was absolutely the sweetest I'd ever tasted; the goat cheese. olives, leftover Caffyit salad, and fresh tomato can only be described as a gourmand's delight. We spent 3 hours there--eating and talking and eventually napping--and not a better time could have been had!
Saturday evening May 13th
Aside from going to local markets, one of the more interesting things to do in a foreign country is to go to a movie theater. We are so accustomed to our rather insular perspectives of life, that we fail to appreciate how different things are in the rest of the world. That evening we went to the movie theater in the German Colony--one of the oldest in the entire country. I remember going to this theater on my first trip to Israel in 1967 and it is still housed in the same building. Upon entering the building, one finds oneself in the middle of a thriving cafe, full of tables and lots of people talking over each other to be heard. Smoking is illegal in restaurants, but no one pays attention to that rule yet, so we chose not to sit down. We went up to the ticket window to purchase our tickets and were delighted to be offered our choice of assigned seats (how civilized!). Many of the patrons who entered the theater came in with glasses of beer or wine--as this is perfectly acceptable. We chose water and a box of popcorn--very plebean it seemed. The movie was called "The World's Fastest Indian" and starred Anthony Hopkins; it was in English (actually Austrailian) with Hebrew subtitiles, but could just as easily have been in French, German, or any other language. Israel has a small but very vibrant local film production medium, but imports many films from around the world to supplement their internal output. Israelis are very foreign-language film oriented, unlike most Americans who wouldn't dare to admit they've seen or liked a foreign film. Contrary to initial expectations of the movie's content, based upon the title, we saw the story of an Austrailian 70ish gentlemen who loved his Indian brand motorcycle and who dreamed of racing it, before he died, on the Bonneville Salt flats in Utah. Hopkins' character portrayal was wonderful as usual and this was a sleeper of a movie--great acting, storyline, cinemaphotography, and moral teaching. In addition to a terrific movie, Rae-ann was treated to her first official movie intermission--the film actually stopped midway and the audience went out to resupply themselves with food and drink (and to use the restrooms of course).
After the movie, we went back to Ben Yehuda Street where we listened to an impromptu concert by some Asian choralers, saw far too many young people smoking, had some scrumptuous gelato, and later in the evening (around 11pm) grabbed a falafel and superb schwarma for dinner. Schwarma is usually lamb and turkey that cooks slowly on a vertical spit and that gets put into a pita with hummous, tehini, salad, chips, hot sauce, and maybe pickles. Need I say more...???
Sunday--May 14th
Today was definitely a sightseeing day ala real tourists. We got up early and grabbed breakfast at our hotel, the Prima Royale-(3 Mendele St) taking advantage of the buffet available to the guests. It wasn't anything special--just your normal salads in 15 varieties, eggs (scrambled and hard-boiled), fresh baked goods, 3 or 4 different kinds of fresh fruit, 3 different kinds of cereal, 3 different kinds of herring,hummus, tehina, olives, yogurt, milk, coffee and tea. A nice light way to start the day.
After eating relatively modestly, we got in our rented car and drove the short distance to the Old City--the multi-thousand (as in 3500plus) year old chunk of real estate that is considered sacred by Jews, Christians, Muslims, and Greek Orthrodox. The Old City has an amazing history, one which I won't go into here, but well worth reading up on. We drove the car along the narrow cobblestone streets and made our way back to one of the parking lots that was close to the Kotel or Western Wall. This ancient (2000 years old), few hundred feet of stone wall (187 ft to be precise), is without any doubt, the holiest place in the country, out of many holy sites. (Check out the following site "http://english.thekotel.org/content.asp?id=212" for the real scoop on the Wall). When the Western Wall was recaptured from the Jordanians in the Six Day War in 1967, work was immediately begun by archeologists, working under tight security and secrecy, to excavate the largely hidden portion of the Wall. Today, it is possible, with plenty of advance notice, to make a reservation to tour the Wall from below the Old City, from the perspective of the Kotel Tunnel, which is 1050ft (out of a total of 1600 ft) long. It is a fascinating historical and biblical journey that is an absolute must for anyone visiting Jerusalem. The tour takes about 90 minutes and tickets cost about $10 each. Oh, remember this is a REALLY HOLY site, and women should not be dressed in shorts or be bare-shouldered. I forgot this point and Rae-ann was immediately accosted, upon entering the Plaza just after the security gates, by, for lack of a better phrase, someone from the DECENCY POLICE--actually just an elderly woman who gave her a piece of cloth (not exactly a shawl) to put around her shoulders and a very large (one size fits the whole tour group I think) wrap-around skirt to cover her bare legs. The "look" is really unique, and I am selling the photos of Rae-ann in this outfit to help pay for the trip!
We walked back from the Kotel through the Jewish Quarter of the Old City. (There are Arab and Christian quarters as well, and all are very much considered home to their respective constituencies.) We headed off to Yad Vashem--" Yad Vashem, Jerusalem, is the Jewish people’s memorial to the murdered Six Million and symbolizes the ongoing confrontation with the rupture engendered by the Holocaust. Containing the world’s largest repository of information on the Holocaust, Yad Vashem is a leader in Shoah education, commemoration, research and documentation." For more info go to "http://www.yadvashem.org" You need to give yourself about 3 hours to make a small dent in the museum and more importantly, to allow yourself the time to absorb what you are seeing, reading, and feeling. You won't come close to actually seeing or reading everything, but it will be a start and something you can do on succeeding trips to Israel. The experience of Yad Vashem is powerful, almost overwhelmingly so, and is a must for Jew and non-Jew alike. We all need to REMEMBER, so that we don't ever find ourselves in a similar situation where lives are treated so lightly, and our veneer of civilization is so easily worn thin.
Dinner that evening was with Bev and Chezi at the new location for an old Jerusalem restaurant called Spaghetim. Unfortunately, though the new location is bright, airy, and nicely decorated, the food was much better, as I remember, in the old locale. This is one of the growing, but still small number of Jerusalem restaurants that is not kosher. The vast majority of eateries in Jerusalem are kosher, in keeping with the large religiously observant population. The exact opposite is true in Tel Aviv, due to the largely secular community that makes up the majority there. We split, amongst the four of us, a vegetarian antipasta, stuffed portabella mushrooms, goat cheese puffs and fresh foccacia. For our main courses, Rae-ann and I opted for the pasta putenesca and the pasta with spinach and garlic. Our dessert was the halevah frozen dish--very tasty! Halavah or halvah depending on your "taste" for pronounciation, is a favorite Middle Eastern delight that is made from crushed sesame seeds...yum!!)
Monday May 15th
We got up early-out of the hotel by 7am (to avoid spending too much of the day in the desert sun) and drove out of Jerusalem, heading for the ancient desert fortress of Masada, along the 2 lane highway that leads down to the Dead Sea and eventually to Israel's southernmost city of Eilat. There is an amazing topographical change that occurs as one heads out of Jerusalem on this road, Highway1 (then onto Highway 90)--the green forested hills are replaced with rolling Judean desert--lots of browns and greys with zero vegetation. We didn't go into Jericho (passed on the way down) for safety reasons, though it is an interesting detour in a better political climate. The road drops, over the space of a relatively short distance (20 or so miles I think) from about 2400 feet above sea level to about 1200 feet below sea level. The Dead Sea is the lowest point on the earth's surface and a favorite tourist destination when one has more time.
Here is a good link for information about Masada: http://www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org/jsource/Archaeology/Masada1.html. I would go there for a quick primer about Masada, but suffice it to say, this a fascinating place to visit and to walk around the reconstructed ruins. I suggest doing as we did, getting there by 8am, so your touring is done in the relatively bearable heat of the early morning. Take along sunscreen, a hat, a bottle of water, and wear hiking shoes rather than sneakers, especially if you are going to be adventuresome and walk up or down the Snake Path, rather than opting for the the tram. The walk, up or down, will add about an hour to your visit each way, so plan accordingly; you want to give yourself 2-3 hours to take in the majority of the fortress and it is best not to be outside during the intense heat of the middle of the day (12-3pm). Many visitors make it a day of touring and combine the Dead Sea and Masada, perhaps with a side visit to the Ein Gedi Nature Preserve and Kibbutz Eid Gedi. All of these sites are quite unique and well worth stopping at if you have more than just a few hours to spare.
We stuck to our tight schedule and managed to be back in Jerusalem by 1pm for lunch with Benny, who runs the largest tour operation business in Israel; Pam used to do all of her bookings through him and his company IGT Tours and we've been friends for years. Benny has, by virtue of his job and nearly 30+ years of experience, got an amazing knowledge of where to go in the country, and combines that with an awesome list of both tourist and locally oriented places to eat. He took us to a section of Jerusalem called Rehavya, and we ate at a relatively new spot called Cafe Rehavya. If you can get past the cigarette smoke ( in spite of a new ban in restaurants that is woefully not well enforced) and get a table near a window , then you won't be disappointed by the food--great salads and traditional Sephardic dishes (think spicy and full of unusual flavors!). We had a relatively light meal consisting of an Israeli chopped salad and a spinach ravioli filled with pumpkin and cheese--outstanding!! We topped off the meal with a light but limey piece of key lime pie--double yum!!!!
Before leaving Benny in the afternoon, he made a reservation for us for dinner at one of his favorite haunts in Jerusalem--a real native Israeli spot that no tourist would ever find on his own--called Chakra, a charming restaurant and jazz club-up the street from the David's Citadel hotel-located on Queen Shlomozion St and Kind David St.
It must seem as if all we did was eat in Israel, and though we did a lot of it, we didn't gain any weight (???). We were touring all day, walking for hours on end, and ate lots of healthy salads and fresh, rather than packaged foods, so our waistlines didn't expand too dramatically (the operative word is "too"). Besides, how can you travel and not sample all those local delicacies??!!
It was obvious quite early in our dinner that Benny had given us an excellent recommendation and that his long friendship with the chef and owners was behind the extras being brought to our table. What a feast!!! We started off with grilled eggplant in a tehini sauce, then progressed to a mushroom risotto, followed by fillet of Denise (Sea Bream) gilled in olive oil and herbs and served with roasted garlic, tomato and mashed potatoes. Thank goodness we split everything rather than each ordering separately. By doing so, we were able to have room for the scrumptous dessert of a chocolate pyramid w/peanut butter cream filling and vanilla ice cream--washed down with espresso and tea with fresh nana or mint leaves. Our wine for the evening was a Gamla Chardonnay (but the vintage escapes me). WOW!! Chakra was a truly terrific dining experience and one I wouldn't hesitate to return to on my next visit to Israel.
Tuesday May 16th
We had booked an early flight Israel time so as to get into NY around 5pm--making it a bit easier to transition back to work on the 17th. It was smooth sailing on the highway going to the airport at around 5am, but the new and very beautiful Lod terminals are a bit confusing when first approaching them off the highway, especially if you are returning a rental car. The rental returns are near the old terminals, while passenger drop-off is obviously at the new buildings. Allow for some extra time if you happen to be returning a car. Also, if you bought goodies and paid the VAT at the "official" stores, and got the correct form, then you need to make sure your gifts are packed in one easily accessible bag. You have to go to the VAT counter and they inspect what you bought vs the various forms you hand in. You need to do this prior to checking your baggage, and since there is usually only one clerk checking the forms, plan on a delay. Your refund usually comes a few months later, either via check or credit back to your credit card. (That reminds me, I need to check to see if our refunds ever hit.) After leaving the VAT counter, you will take your bags to the line in front of your carrier and begin the security check-in process. This Q&A process is an essential part of the passenger scrutiny that every carrier, but especially El Al, puts its passengers through; you really do feel safer when it is finished, unlike the rather haphazard practices employed in US ports of debarkation. When you finally get checked in, take some time (you should have plenty of it) to browse through the new duy-free shopping area. It is one of the nicer such shopping areas that I've run across in vaious international airports that I have transited through.
Leaving Israel has always been difficult for me--even before burying Pam there. I always feel such a sense of sadness when departing, as I am so comfortable being there with my extended loving family and friends. I do miss the family very much when we are not together! I truly love the country, feel so at home, and as you've seen from my blogging, am enthralled by so much of the geography, history, places of interest and restaurants. Then there is the obvious pull of being so close to Pam and being able to visit her grave so easily. This trip has been all too short, but it was very satisfying to have weathered all the experiences so well and to have come out of it closer to Rae-ann. I think we are a stronger couple now than we were before the trip began. We surrmounted a lot of difficult hurdles before and during this trip-both individually and as a couple-- and were able to mix our tears and the laughter together to help strenghten the foundation that supports our relationship. I'm very lucky to have found another who is strong enough to support me along the winding path that I travel upon, and who, at the same time, is sensitive and loving in her dealings with me and my extended family. Thank you Rae-ann for being you!
Until our next trip.....
